Josh: 00:00-00:48 Welcome to the Work the System podcast where we help entrepreneurs make more and work less using systems and I’m your host, Josh Fonger. And today we have special guests. We have Malorie Nicole. Malorie helps entrepreneurs and driven professionals remove their mental barriers, stopping them from creating the life they want. Stress, overwhelm, and income caps aren’t solely just a business problem. She helps people solve this with subconscious belief work and mindset growth. So, they can not only make the money they desire, but feel the way they want to feel. She also helps small to midsize leadership teams and companies grow further faster by implementing emotional intelligence in their work. She shares her expertise, insights and continued learning as the host of the abundantly clear podcast. All right, so welcome to the show Malorie.

Malorie: 00:49-00:53 Thank you. I’m excited to be on here. Systems and business are so so so important.

Josh: 00:54-01:07 And we were talking before the show, how what you do when I do I think are great compliments, and so this this will be fun. So once you, before I get into the deep questions give us the backstory. Tell us how you got into your line of work. And what brought you here today?

Malorie: 01:08-02:28 Absolutely. So I got into my line of work a little bit on accident in 2014, I was working for an engineering firm. And I went through a long health battle of about three to four months where I just had a lot of symptoms. I had migraines and rashes, and all kinds of crazy stuff that was showing up. And you know how that goes, you go to Google and you start doing research and you’re convinced you’re gonna die. And you just you’re not sure what’s going on with you. When you have that level of symptoms, so I was in and out of the doctor kind of just trying to figure out this puzzle. And it took about three months, but I did figure out the puzzle and everything’s back to normal now and shortly after, but that’s really what started my interest in health and wellness. And although I don’t work in health and wellness anymore, I did take that opportunity to explore deeper into getting a healthy and wellness certification because I wanted to learn more about the mind and the body and how it all works. So, after that investment and getting that certification, then my mind was just kind of turned on to, oh, wait a minute. Now, there’s all this other stuff about the belief system and subconscious, pro, subconscious mindset programming, and I couldn’t help myself but to want to learn more information on it. So, more certifications came, I started a side business and here we are now.

Josh: 02:29-02:53 Okay, so we talked about the market and my market is people who have small business entrepreneurs, and oftentimes, I’m working with them on their business systems. So, what are some, maybe some key mental frameworks that people should be aware of if they want to get their mind right, like maybe they’re not getting as far as they want to in business? Are there certain common pitfalls mentally that they haven’t addressed?

Malorie: 02:54-04:01 Yeah, I think there’s a lot of pitfalls and the most common thing I see with entrepreneurs in any professional is that they, they believe that they can outwork their own problems. Because entrepreneurs love solving problems. I myself, love solving problems outside of my coaching business, I have other things that I’m working on too. And it’s all just problem-solving experience that we’re in every single day as business owners, we get to use our creativity we get to learn and get to grow. But in this work, specifically, what we have a tendency to do is miss the root of where the problem is coming from, because we’re continuing to think we can outwork it. And a lot of business owners find themselves stuck in that kind of cycle of hitting this wall, whether it’s an income cap, or stress or overwhelm or feeling like they, you know, can’t delegate or lack of control. And they use marketing tactics or sometimes system tactics and they get really far with that. But there’s this other thing that needs to happen, that they’re not reaching with those specific things that they do to try and solve it, does that make sense?

Josh: 04:02-04:23 So, what would and this is an area I want to learn from you. And so would it? Would it be childhood issues, parenting issues? emotional, like what was it trauma that causes them to not get to the next level? Or is it fear or what, what? Because people do hit a plateau oftentimes to their company. Like what? What is the issue? Maybe it’s a bunch of things.

Malorie: 04:24-06:07 Yeah, it’s all of it. And I think one thing that’s really challenging for driven professionals to raise their hands and say, yes, maybe I have that issue, is to really look at the childhood programming and how they were raised. Because it doesn’t always mean that mom and dad or whatever household you were raised in, were not good parents or that you went through a divorce or that you went through anything actually, traumatic. It’s all about how you interpreted the things that happened in your life. So, it’s not what happened to you, it’s what was your interpretation of it. And what happens is we don’t realize our blind spots in that, because we can’t. We are thinking from the lens that we are thinking from and if we weren’t thinking from it, you know, we would have already solved the problem myself included. So, until someone comes in and can kind of point out these blind spots and then take it back further and unprepped deprogramming and reprogram it, we keep hitting these same walls. So, sometimes that is really the core issue of, I can’t delegate, you know, you could tell a client right now, these are the three things you need to do. They might do one out of two of them, but what’s the real reason they’re not doing those other two things? It’s probably not because it wasn’t great advice. You know, your system is dialed in. It works every single time. But what’s the root of the reason that somebody is taking that information and they’re not taking it a step further. A lot of that has to do with childhood programming with how they’re perceiving the world and all of the above, but we just we only know what we know. A lot of times no one’s ever said, well, where do these beliefs come from? And why do you think the way that you think?

Josh: 06:08-06:40 So what kind of questions because I do a lot of coaching, what kind of questions to someone like me ask an entrepreneur, so somebody, they hit the $500,000 year mark with a business. They’re paying themselves such as, $100,000, and they’ve been, they’ve yo-yoing around there for five years. And they really want to, you know, finally expand, maybe take some vacations. They finally maybe sell the company someday, but they just can’t seem to get out of their own way. Is there certain questioning a lot of questioning that you would go through to actually uncover that?

Malorie: 6:42-07:45 Yeah, legally, I can’t advise on certain questions, because there’s a lot there. You could open up Pandora’s box with that. But really, what you want to look at is the identity that that person has around the experience that they’re in right now. So, what experience on what lens are they looking at life through right now? And where is that core block coming from? Because a lot of times we look at certain marks, for example, 500,000, we’ll look at that. And it’s not so much an identity around the number 500,000. A lot of times it could be an identity around. Let’s say, for example, the thing that’s really going to help this person get to a million is delegation. Well, we need to look at the control issues. And where’s the fear around asking for help? And where’s the fear around creating a team and where is the fear and, and what’s really coming up around expansion to reach to that next level? Sometimes it is about worthiness and that connection to that dollar sometimes it truly is that but it isn’t that’s not always the case.

Josh: 07:46-08:28 Okay, so a bunch there. So, let’s just say that I, what kind of business I want to use, say so say it’s a hair salon. Okay, got a couple of those. And let’s just say you always cut people’s hair you did not you know you’ve done the whole hair thing for 10 years you people pay you a lot of money, you get great reward you feel good about it, and you have a team of people who cut hair stylists. And is it is the reason why you can’t go be honest because your identity is tied up as being a great stylist and people like you as a stylist. Is that why you can’t move on? Is it? Is it an identity issue? And if so, how do you reprogram someone’s identity in the subconscious realm? 

Malorie: 08:29-10:37 Yeah, sometimes it is an identity issue, but it that that’s not always the case. So, it’s not as black or white. You know, a lot of things of business are linear. This unfortunately isn’t it’s not as black and white as being able to say, okay, you’re having an identity issue, because we would really have to look at the whole picture. So, it’s kind of like, I like to use mindset work and subconscious belief work. As an example as exercise. I could watch someone do sit ups all day long, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to have ABS, right? So if we look at this, we can’t really just say until we dig in and look at what that person might be experiencing and where their lens has, you know, come from and developed from into what the actual block is because it could be a number of things. In and of itself, somebody that’s reaching a cap, I mean, I’ll give you an example. I had a client once that had three businesses that all hit a certain income cap in the millions, but every single one of them hit the same exact number, all three of them. Well, that belief actually wasn’t a childhood thing. It was wearing an identity around something that came from a business loan and feeling guilty for expanding into a certain amount of money. So, it’s not always just a yes, this is the issue that you’re dealing with and all across the board, everyone else is dealing with that issue too. For a hairstylist, for example, there might be depending on what market they’re in and what their business how their business is established. There might be something that’s blocking them from opening up another salon or raising their prices or expanding on their own marketing and being seen visibility is something that a lot of entrepreneurs struggle with, is they might have an identity about being a great hairstylist but expanding out into you know, being seen in a more public eye is something that they feel blocked around. So we would want to really understand and look at what are the exact things that this person is struggling with, and then kind of take it back a couple steps to see what belief that person is seeing this through.

Josh: 10:38-10:45 So that’s why we have the wrong question to ask them so let’s just say they have this this belief system that that’s wrong and you identified it, and, 

Malorie: 10:46- Well, it’s not a belief system is wrong. No belief system is wrong. It just might not be allowing them to grow.

Josh: 10:52-11:48 Okay, so it fits with our current reality, but it won’t fit with a future reality. They like get a future reality is there like, you maybe this is the wrong question. But like tactics or techniques like they should they say a mantra every day, should they read something? They draw a picture on the wall like, what should they do to reprogram their brain and mind? I’ll use an example. So, like, I work with a lot of a lot of people, but sometimes, I’ll help second generation business owners. So, they’re the parents have the business and I’ll pass it on to the kids, right? And the kids kind of always had this, like, you know, subconsciously, that they’re the kid and the parents have always been the leaders. And all the employees in the company also will see the parents as leaders in the kid as the kid. And so they have to kind of become a leader. And they’re so used to just being, you know, the child of the owner. Like, well, how would you advise them to kind of sort through that situation?

Malorie:  11:49-16:20 Really, and to be completely honest, it’s not about advising them how to do it. It’s about asking for help, because you can’t do this on your own. I can’t do it on my own with myself in the same way that I if you were giving your truest advice to me, I would trust that it wouldn’t be here’s three steps to go put systems into your business, you would actually want to take a look at how its functioning and what’s going on. That doesn’t mean that I’m the only answer for this are plenty of people that do this work. But until someone can really identify, how you’re looking at things, nothing’s going to change because you have to uproot what’s in the subconscious mind in order to shift and create a new belief. And doing that on your own is something that’s a little bit challenging, because it’s hard to identify where it all comes from, otherwise you wouldn’t be thinking from that paradigm as it exists. But something that you can do, because there are things that you can do to think differently and to grow differently, is to really take a look at what are you avoiding, so all entrepreneurs were great at avoiding certain things that we don’t want to do because of the discomfort of it. A handful of those things that we are really really good at are some of us avoid looking at our finances, because we just feel a total lack of control of our finances and it’s easier just to put a blind to it and not look at it, no matter how much money is coming in, it could be $10,000, it could be $100,000 a month and just not looking at it as easier. So, that’s one thing that entrepreneurs are great at. Another thing that we’re great at is, avoiding marketing. So, we avoid putting ourselves out there and really stepping into the expanded version of ourselves. There could be something that you know, right now you should be doing and you’re not doing it at. You blocked it, it’s easier to avoid, you know, to add another six figures on to your revenue, you can do step 1-2-3 thing but for whatever reason, you know, whatever you the lens that you’re looking at, like through right now you’re blocking yourself from that. You could be avoiding having a conversation with someone. You know, that’s something that shows up a lot, letting a client go or having a tough conversation with an employee or a contract worker because you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. You don’t want to make them mad. You don’t want to disappoint them. So, you just kind of sweep it under the rug and keep moving forward. Those are a handful of things that we as people, not just entrepreneurs, but we as people have a tendency to avoid, because we love to avoid conflict and uncomfortable things. So, taking note that step one is to take note and look at. Alright, if I was really honest with myself right now, what is one thing that I know that I’m avoiding? What is one thing that I know that I’m avoiding? And then once you have your answer, whatever it is, let’s just say I’m avoiding looking at my finances. Let’s pretend that for now, I’m avoiding looking at my finances and hiring an accountant and taking you know, taking real control of what’s coming in. Then you look at, well, what is the emotion that I connected to this? In this case, let’s just pretend it’s fear. I’m scared. I’m totally scared to look at my finances. So that’s step two, getting really clear on what the emotion is because none of this is actually about emotions, it’s about what’s underneath it. But a lot of times we avoid emotion so we don’t get to the root of the real problem. So, if you look at the emotion and you say, alright, I’ve got fear around my finances, where’s that coming from? Then you can ask yourself step three, what story? Am I telling myself about my financial situation right now and why I’m scared to take ownership or control of it. So that is about that’s, that’s what I would tell anybody that’s like, well, I, you know, I just don’t have the money for to work with someone or I don’t know what to do. You can take yourself through a self-awareness process to get more clear on what lens you were looking at things through, and why it started. For example, maybe this person grew up in a household that mom and dad even if they had money, money equal stress, that’s how they were raised. It didn’t matter what was in the bank. They associate money with stress. So, because of that they’re an adult now. They have a business, it’s making great money, but they still have fear around it, because they’re looking at it from the model that their parents taught them. And when I say taught, I don’t mean sitting down with mom or dad and taking out a pen and paper and saying do this do that. It’s just what we see. It’s what we see and what we learn.

Josh: 16:21-16:56 Interesting. So, and I appreciate you going through the steps. I’ve read them all. So, you can kind of go through this. I think the other big thing you mentioned is that, even if you go through this on your own, which is very difficult, a big part of this, because it’s not a process, per say, is actually having somebody with you along the way right to ask you questions and hold you accountable. What is that? And what is the typical session like with you? I’m just I’m just curious, like, do you ask these questions then over a series of months do people progress or what is that? What is that transformation that people actually goes? 

Malorie: 16:57-18:36 Yes, because if they weren’t progressing, I wouldn’t be doing my job. But the first portion of when I work with people, and I tell everybody this from the beginning, some of this might not make sense. I’m gonna ask you some questions. We’re going to talk about some things in the first six weeks that you might think that has nothing to do with business at all. And if you’re gonna step into this, I need you to trust me and just trust that you’re doing the right thing. You know, obviously, the conversation comes with more than that. It’s that, it’s not a five sentence exchange before someone signs on, I want to know what’s going on and what their business looks like. But they have a really good understanding that they’ve done a lot of things, they’ve made a lot of progress on their business, and they feel like they need to do some personal growth work and they’re ready to kind of say yes to something different that maybe they haven’t done before. And so I do spend the first six to eight weeks really diving into what’s the subconscious program, what is going on in the mind, basically, what is the interpretation of how this person is seeing their business, their life, their relationships, all of the above? How are they looking at things and I can identify where the blocks are, take them back, relearn create new patterns so that they start to do things differently. I do have a lot of clients that I’ve been with for 12, 15 months at this point so the conversations do start to shift after that. And it every entrepreneur knows you will continue to hit barriers as you grow, because that’s part of being a business owner. So, there are other things that come up. And it the role kind of changes a little bit after that first integrative deep dive work. It doesn’t have to look like that for two and three years. 

Josh: 18:35-19:21   That’s really interesting. Yeah, I’ve a lot of clients that I work with for, say, four to six months. And then at some of them that I’ve worked for three years, many years, like seven years. And so the relationship in terms of hitting these different sticking points along the way up to progress, and you know, you might be fine for a while, then you hit your next barrier, your next paradigm shift or the next level where you actually have to tap to go between the ears and figure out what’s actually holding you back. Now, well, maybe because you’ve done more research on this. What about maybe genetic things or physical things that just kind of you you’re physically it? Would you say people are physically wired a certain way that prevents them? Or makes it very difficult for them to grow? Or is a lot of their brain elastic or malleable? So that actually, that’s not really an issue? You see?

Malorie: 19:22-20:10 Both? The answer is yes to both because the ladder is what changes so quickly. So that’s why people that I’ve worked with, they can go six to eight weeks, and they’re like, oh, my gosh, this isn’t bothering me anymore, or oh, I just reached this income growth that I was struggling to reach for whatever many years or, oh, I just finally took ownership of my finances or I let this person go that I’ve been meaning to let go for 14 months, but for whatever reason I couldn’t address so all of these things start to go away. And it’s not because I’m telling them, hey, you need to go do this. It’s because we’re uprooting the real blocks that are preventing them. In the first place, so yes, we do create structures and neural pathways in our brain, but they can be uprooted very easily.

Josh: 20:11-20:42 So in the case of, you know, the banks that went about the finances, so someone’s afraid, so they don’t lose their finances, they avoid it. And then they have this emotion like, well, I’m afraid to see what my money situation is. And then this because they tell themselves a story. Let’s just say the story is, I’m not very smart, or successful, I’m a failure, whatever the story is, and then is the goal to say, hey, that story is no good anymore. Let’s, let’s rewrite a new story or, and then, and then it works its way back the other direction. How does that? How does it work?

Malorie: 20:43-21:03 We have to find out where the story came from. And that’s actually to answer the question that you asked earlier. That’s kind of why mantras and meditation and books, they’re they can be very effective, but they’re not going to give you what this is because that’s inputting new information. We have to subtract to add in this case.

Josh: 21:04-21:16 Okay, interesting. So where does the story come from? And then I subtract that story first because you can’t just override it with a new story because then you have two stories and then just going to be back and forth, back and forth.

Malorie: 21:17-21:18 Exactly.

Josh: 21:19-21:21   That’s, that is very fascinating. Okay so,

Malorie: 21:22-  Which is also I will say this because I said earlier, trauma is different for everybody. You know, you could have been left at the bus stop or at school an hour longer than everyone else. And you created a belief that you were forgotten in the world. I mean, that’s how crazy this stuff is. But and when not to dress, things change. But for people that grew up, because I do end up working with a lot of people that have gone through a lot of trauma they had, you know, moms and dads that went through multiple divorces, or they were growing up in a family of one parent or you know, no parents, all of these things that can play a major role in how you Addressing later on in life, and especially how you address relationships, which is, when we look at business, well, what is the root of most of business, it’s relationships and how we communicate and how we interact with one another and how we network and how we position ourselves. And a lot of it does go back to relationships. So I would encourage anybody who maybe is looking at their past, and they’re like, Hey, I don’t want to face that. I don’t want to face it, there was a lot there. It’s not about reliving it. It’s just about understanding what you took with you, and reprogramming that stuff so that you’re not holding on to it anymore. Because I do, I do have every now and then I’ll get on the phone with someone and they’re just like, I just really don’t want to go back there. But they don’t realize that they’re going back there every single day with their limitations, because it hasn’t been addressed yet. So it’s very freeing to let go of that stuff. Move forward.

23:02  

Okay. Well, this is this has been really fast. I’m sure we could talk for a long time about this. But I know you’ve got to go and try. So let me leave you a couple last questions. Now, what’s a question that I should have asked you, but I didn’t ask you during this interview?

Malorie: 23:15-23:17 I don’t know you asked some great questions.

Josh: 23:18-23:21 So nothing else?  Because I got another one.

Malorie: 23:22 Go for it.

Josh: 23:23 -23:35 So guys and gals and girls, what, are there any differences with the with the reprogramming mentally? Or is it or is it basically the same in the brain?

Malorie: 23:36-23:58 Great question. So, my client tell are about half and half. And it’s been that way for quite some time. And there’s no difference in reprogramming. But there are differences that I see in how men and women perform. And what really works for men and what really works for women. As far as high-performance skills and reaching goals. There are some differences in both genders.

Josh: 23:59-24:06 Okay, Interesting. All right, well then we’ll leave it we’ll leave it at that. We’re going to we’ll find out more about what you do Malorie and to get some help from you.

Malorie: 24:07-24:24 They can go to abundantly clear podcast dot com and reach me on the contact page or go binge on some episodes and see if this is interesting to you or Malorie dash Nicole calm dot com  I’ll give you both of those. Malorie’s spelled a little funny. So abundantly clear podcast dot com is the easiest way to reach me.

Josh: 24:25-25:13 Awesome. All right. Well, Malorie, I really appreciate you taking the time today. And thank you everyone who joins us live on Facebook right now or is watching the podcast later on the recorded version. Appreciate all of you coming here and learn from Malorie. Stay tuned next week we’ll be releasing another podcast another business expert, author speaker, somebody pro like Malorie and something, maybe one of my previous clients to share a story about how their company got improved. Also, if you want a copy of that book right there behind me work the system dot com. You can download it for free at our website, Work the System dot com or you can get a free copy mailed to you we pull out one name out of a hat each week. Whoever leaves the review so if you leave us a review, take a screenshot email it to info at Work the System dot com. And then once a week lucky winner gets a copy mailed to their house. Otherwise, thank everybody for joining us and we will see you next week.